How to start writing a book about your life

Ghostwriting
Written By kit warchol

Writing a memoir or autobiography: intimidating but more than possible.

Just had to get that out of the way first. There’s a reason you’re here, and it likely has to do with the fact that you’ve dreamt of writing a memoir or autobiography for a long time, but you have zero idea where to start. And that’s what this article is going to cover.

As a professional writer, I’ve spent years digging into the most vulnerable aspects of my life to write features for magazines like ELLE and Fast Company. I’ve also helped people ghostwrite book proposals, guest columns, and more. So trust me when I say: You have a story to tell. You just need some clear steps to get started.

Step 1. Think about what part/aspects of your life you want to cover.

Not all memoirs and autobiographies span an entire life. Many cover a handful of formative years (think of Glynnis MacNicol’s No One Tells You This, which covered several years in her 40s, or Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, which covered only 12 months); others cover a career more than personal life. Some are told through a lens, such as Stanley Tucci’s recent memoir told specifically through food.

It can help to do some journaling around your life to begin. Try these exercises:

  • Write down some of the periods that were most important for you.

  • Make a list of key moments that made you who you are.

  • Write down key characters. Who has played a huge role in your life?

  • What’s a throughline or pattern? Has your life been filled with travel? With lovers? With pets?

Another excellent exercise is to ask 3-4 people you trust to tell you what aspects of your life would be most worthy of a book. Chances are, they’ll have opinions, and those opinions may surprise you! This is particularly a good exercise to do with children or grandchildren if you have them.

Step 2. Research (i.e. Read, Read, Read)

The best way to decide what kind of memoir writing you want to do is to study the people who have done it and pay close attention to their style and any patterns you notice.

Do they write in autobiographical order or do they hop around through multiple vignettes in their lives? Do you like books about people’s lives or collections of essays? Are the memoirs you enjoy full of humor? Full of people and places? Full of sensory descriptions?

I highly recommend spending at least a few weeks just reading. The more you read, the better you’ll understand the form and the more excited you will be to share your own story, your way.

Here’s a random list of some of my favorite memoirs and autobiographies. How amazing is it that every single one of these people came before you? Every single one of them asked themselves: How do I start writing a book about my life?

Step 3. Take a Class

They’re are many out there, including in-person writing groups in almost every city. But there are also online options — UCLA Extension offers great ones here in Los Angeles (where I live and write), and Brooklyn Writers Collective (despite its name) is a great option for online & virtual writing classes.

Step 4. Commit to Writing Every Day

The people who manage to write a book — a full, glorious book — aren’t a special breed of human. They’re simply the ones who write consistently. Almost every professional writer I know (and every professional ghostwriter or book developer) believes in setting daily or weekly writing goals. That can be a target word count or a target amount of time — whatever works for you.

Step 5: “Just” Start Writing About Your Life

And no, I don’t mean just write a book about your life. That’s daunting as hell. Writing a book is a project. Writing, full-stop, is a practice. The more you write about anything and everything you remember, the more you jot down random memories about your grandmother, and the more you do crazy, silly things like write down your least favorite food (celery) and the story of why (terrible daycare experience one hot humid summer), the more clearly you’ll see the path that will carry you to your memoir or autobiography.

You will write much more than you’ll end up including in a book about your life, and that’s the point. There will be time to edit. Instead, start with a few prompts without a final book in mind. Here are a few to use:

  • Write the story of your first memory. What did you see? Feel? Who was there?

  • Write about the moment you met the greatest love of your life.

  • Write about your first heartbreak.

  • Write about a time that you go lost, really truly lost (your call on whether it’s emotional loss, spiritual loss, or you were, in fact, lost in the wilderness)

  • Tell me what you remember most about being eleven years old.

  • What’s the most significant memory you have about your mother?

  • What about your father?

  • What’s the best sex you’ve had in your life?

  • What is the single greatest taste you’ve ever experienced?

  • Pick a smell that always brings you back to a certain period in your life. Tell me why.

Each one of these questions will become a vignette in whatever book you write about your life. Try writing four or five of them and see where you land. As you go, think about which prompts speak most to you. When you’ve finished a handful, look back at the ones you like the most. Then go on from there. You’ll be shocked how quickly a set of disparate writings will point you in the direction of a memoir.

Step 6: Find Support (A Ghostwriter or a Co-writer)

Much like an accountability buddy when you’re trying to get back into exercising, it can help to find a community to support you through the writing process. Maybe it’s a friend who also dreams of writing a book. Or perhaps it’s a writing community in your area (try Googling local writing clubs, checking Meetup.com, or even asking your neighborhood on Nextdoor).


Or you can hire a co-writer. Sometimes called a “ghostwriter,” many people don’t realize how many co-writing styles there are. If you want to write the bulk of your book, but simply need some professional guidance, a co-writer is a great idea. If you know you need some series editing help, a co-writer is also for you. Or maybe you want to tell your story to someone you can trust to turn it into words free of spelling errors and grammatical lapses. That’s a co-writer, too. Here is another guide I wrote on hiring a ghostwriter. And here are details about the book ghostwriting and co-writing services I offer.

Written by Kit Warchol, founder of Nunc Studio. Kit has nearly 15 years of experience as a writer, content strategist, and editorial director for brands big and small. Past clients and content partners include the University of Southern California, Squarespace, KonMari by Marie Kondo, RMS Beauty, Buck Mason, and Current/Elliott. She also has a robust freelance writing career with personal essays and articles published in/on ELLE, Fast Company, Coveteur, ARTINFO, The Rumpus, Food & Wine, and more.

kit warchol
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